Conscious Choices That Led Me Here

I remember sitting in my car one morning, hands gripping the steering wheel, staring at the road before me. From the outside, I had it all together, the degrees, the titles, the picture-perfect life. But inside? I was running loops of fear, intrusive patterns, and the pressure of living by scripts that weren’t even mine.

I was exhausted from trying to be everything for everyone.
I was stuck in perfectionism, afraid to let the cracks show.
I was living the life I thought I was supposed to, not the one I wanted.

That morning, I whispered to myself: This can’t be it. There has to be another way.

That whisper became my first conscious choice. I chose to stop living on autopilot. To stop letting “shoulds” steer my life. I began asking myself more complex questions: What do I value? What do I want to model for my kids? What actually matters to me?

Of course, choosing differently didn’t magically erase the old patterns. That’s when the work's second part challenged my thinking.

I can still feel the knot in my stomach when I first said out loud: Perfectionism isn’t serving me anymore. It felt like betraying a part of myself I had relied on for decades. But slowly, I began noticing the thoughts that kept me small. I asked if they were true or just old echoes. I practiced reframing. Some days I stumbled right back into old habits. But each time I challenged those thoughts, even a little, I created space for something new to grow.

And then came the part that continues to shape me daily: forward motion.

Forward motion isn’t glamorous. It’s messy. It looks like getting up on the mornings you’d rather hide. It seems like choosing growth over comfort, even when comfort begs you to stay. It looks like walking into a room as your authentic self, even when you’re scared of being “too much.”

I committed to that. Not perfection, not some finished version of myself, just motion, choosing again and again to keep moving forward.

And here’s the truth: those conscious choices changed everything. They gave me the courage to build a life that feels like mine. They’re why I get to do my work now, creating spaces where others can choose, challenge, and live in forward motion, too.

Maybe as you’re reading this, you’re hearing a whisper of your own. A tug that says: This can’t be it. There has to be another way.

I want you to know that you’re not alone if that's you. The same conscious choices that carried me here are available to you, too. And when you’re ready, I’d love to walk beside you.